8
Taylor Jax did not hate her husband. She was a blunt woman, but not a hateful one. At times, she could hold a small grudge, but you’d have to be a saint not to. Grudges always passed for her anyway. That night she dug into Jax over the boogie man thing felt warranted in her eyes. As of now, her anger faded into worry. Worrying about Jax wasn’t any better than being angry with him, but it was a calmer struggle. She couldn’t do anything about Jax except worry. After all, what could she really say to him?
“You’ve changed, Jax. The life from your eyes has gone, and there’s something in its place. You’re robotic. Not in tone, but in word choice. It’s like you’ve found a pattern for how to respond to me.”
She wondered what Jax was like at work. Maybe he cared more there than he did at home, or maybe he was the same set of auto-responses. But that couldn’t be possible. Everyone has to be real somewhere. If not at home or at work, then where?
Taylor messed up with Jax. He offered to share his soul, and she cut him off, thinking that he could be redirected, thinking that she knew him better than he knew himself. Everyone’s more complex than what they show. You can’t trick or bargain your way into a better man. Jax offered to share about Mr. Daark, but now she might never hear the truth. Could Taylor be blamed for that? She wanted her husband back. Is that such a crime? No one can really blame her ignorance. She would have had to be an expert psychologist to come up with the perfect response every time.
Taylor found herself stuck in a sort of limbo between the boys of the house. Jake was growing. He was still a little kid, but he would find his place in the world soon enough. She wanted for someone to need her if only subconsciously. Jax closed himself off, so there was no alternate person for her to help. She hoped that Jake might need her a little longer. She hugged him daily and hoped the hugging would never become forced. It’s not the same when it’s forced. The hug becomes cold when it’s forced.
School stole Jake away for seven hours out of the day. Summer would come again, and that might be nice, but Taylor needed a new job. Jobs distract everyone from the reality of life’s natural boring state. Everyone finds ways to fill their time through entertainment, but in many ways, entertainment becomes dull and unrewarding. A job could be dull, but salaries give everyone a reason to keep working, to keep doing something to distract themselves from life. Taylor now hoped that a job would distract her from the issue with Jax and give her something to focus on.